If It's Meant To Be
by PuffyCupCake
Summary: Alice has returned home once more, and the Hatter is drunker every day. After much convincing, he decides to bring Alice back to Wonderland, hoping she'll stay with him forever. However, the Queen of Hearts simply won't have it.
1. Do You Miss Her?

The Mad Hatter, more commonly--and not very creatively--known as simply "Hatter", sat silent in a red velvet high-backed chair. His green eyes were glazed over in a drunken stupor, a lazy smile plastered on his pale face. In one hand, dangling from his fingertips, was a delicate porcalein tea-cup, and from the other, a dark bottle of brandy, mostly empty save for a few drops. He slumped in his chair, the collar of his coat rising to the bottom of his eyes, his long legs bending at the knees as his feet slid under the chair. Drunk. It was not uncommon for him to drown himself in alcohol these days. For almost three months now, he constantly reeked of alcohol, mostly rum.

Nemo, the Chesire Cat, to many, had perched herself on a branch, high above Hatter's head, staring down at him with worry and displeasure. Most wouldn't know the Cat to actually be female, who could blame them? She looked and sounded like a boy, except for her enourmous golden eyes. Large purple ears poked out from her short and messy silver hair, twitching and turning to take in all the noise around her. Her tail twitched below her, lazily swaying back and forth as she contemplated what to do with her dear Hatter. Apparently, he knew she was there, because he began speaking to her. Then again, he was drunk, and could quite possibly be babbling to himself.

"Do you miss her...?" he slurred, his head rolling to one side. He could see her now, one piercing green eye staring at her through dirty red hair. Another habit Hatter had gotten into was not bathing, which didn't help the smell. The drunken fool. Nemo simply flicked one ear in curiosity before hopping from her perch. She landed with a soft thud on the table top, her boots muffled by the soft cloth beneathe them. Tea cups and other dishes and silverware rattled quietly as she approached the Hatter. Plopping herself down on the table, she crossed her legs and studied the man.

"I don't have any clue what you're talking about." she muttered, pursing her lips. He hadn't realized she had moved until he heard her voice. The Hatter's head rolled once more, his trademark hat toppling off his head to settle on the cobblestone path. He stared again, with his deep green eyes, lost in his own head.

"Do you miss _her_?" he asked once more, leaning forward a bit in his effort to make the feline understand him. Nemo shook her head in disapproval. And for a split second, she saw his face change. His expression changed from that of drunken bliss, to sheer agony and hurt. He stared so intently at the ground that Nemo was sure it would swallow him whole. His bottom lip bobbed and quivered. What he was thinking, she didn't know, but the look on his face both scared and fascinated her. Never in her years of knowing this man had she seen him so upset. Even for the moment it was, it terrified her to think that the man she thought was so strong, could be transformed into a whimpering child. Child, yes, maybe. He always had an aloof and young personality, but never had she seen him so close the breaking down and crying.

And then he was back. His green eyes glazed over once more, his stupid smirk back on his face where it belonged. He then noticed his hat wasn't were it should have been. He felt the top of his head absently, frowning when he didn't find the floppy brim or tattered feather. His eyes found it, crumpled and lying on the ground. He reached for it. Once. Twice. Three times. No luck. The forth one, he reached a bit too far, and the whole chair tipped sideways, falling on top of him.

Nemo's yellow eyes widened as she saw the chair tumble onto the man. His legs stuck out beneath it, kicking wildly in an attempt to free himself. Sighing, Nemo hauled the chair of the frantic man, pushing it aside as if it were nothing. One thing could be said about Nemo, she was unusually strong. No one really knew what it was, but she could throw heavy objects around as if they were nothing. No one dared to question it, either. The young girl had a tendancy to get violent if need be. Her friends however, which merely included the Hatter, the March Hare, and Alice, were lucky enough not to get beaten senseless.

Alice.

Nemo suddenly realized just who the Hatter had been talking about. Of course he would miss Alice. They all missed Alice. Nemo scolded herself for not realizing it sooner. How could she forget Alice? And it had been so long since Alice had left. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And those, soon, would turn into years. No wonder the Hatter had started drinking more than normal. He had always enjoyed alcohol, but not so much to the extent that he stumbled around.

"You were talking about Alice, right?" Nemo asked, kneeling down next to him. He stared up into the trees above him. His eyes grew distant once more. He seemed to instantly become sober.

"It's been so long..." he groaned, his voice cracking. Nemo felt pity for him. All he wanted was to see Alice.

"You can see her, you know..." Nemo began. He rolled over, facing away from the Cat. He knew she was right. But why? Why would Alice want to see _him_ of all people?

"You're thinking it again..." Nemo scolded. He would have rolled his eyes if his head didn't hurt so bad. She was right. "I'm sure she'd love to see you. Any of us. They keep her all cooped up in her house. No friends..." Nemo trailed off. The Hatter focused on a tiny purple flower growing on the edge of the path. It swayed lightly as he exhaled. With one hand, he reached out, running a long finger over one of the petals.

"Not today..." he whispered, ripping the tiny seedling out of the ground. He placed the bloom in his pocket, rolling over and sitting up to face the Cat. "Not today." And then he was out cold. Unconcious on the stone path. Nemo shook her head, standing up.

"Well, I can't just leave you here..." she muttered, obviously irritated. She slung one of his lanky arms over her shoulder, tucking her own udner his knees, and lifted him off the ground, carrying him like a sleeping child to her home.


	2. Why Not Me?

He dreamed that night. Of Alice. The two of them lay alone in his bed, saying nothing. Her head rested on his chest, her platinum hair rolling off him as his chest rose and fell steadily. One of his arms was around her shoulders, the other propped his head up. He then looked around the room. There were no doors, and only one small window. Through the window he could see the pale glow of what he assumed to be the moon

"Why not me, dear Hatter?" came a strangely familiar voice. It was a woman, no doubt. Her voice was low and smokey, lingering in the corners of the empty room. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he should speak at all.

"Hatter..." It wasn't the same voice. Not mature in it's sound. No. It was light, boyish.

"Nemo?" the Hatter forced his heavy eyelids up, squinting in an attempt to see the feline before him. At first, she was just a black figure in front of him. Her giant cat ears lay out to the sides, a sign that she was either unhappy or worried. Then things came into focus. She was bending over him, her tail motionless behind him. That was definitely not a good sign. He noticed in her hands she held an envelope. An envelope with a heart on it. A heart...

"Not her..." he muttered, looking up at Nemo with pleading eyes. Nemo pursed her lips, standing up straight. She said nothing as she passed him the letter. Closing his eyes, he took it and fell back onto the blankets he was in. Then he noticed his coat hanging on the chair next to him, and his boots thrown onto the floor. Nemo must have done that.

"How long have I been sleeping?" he asked, holding the letter above him, trying to see if there might be something interesting inside.

"Only about a day. Lay off the booze, sheesh..." she scolded. The Hatter rolled his eyes, sitting upright on the bed.

'Now or never...' he thought to himself as he ripped the envelope down the side. A thin piece of red paper slid out into his hand. He dreaded what it said.

"_Dearest Hatter,_

_The Queen of Hearts requests that you come see her as soon as possible. Preparations for her birthday are underway and she demands that you plan the party._

_Sincerely,_

_Cain, The White Rabbit_"

The Hatter groaned, slapping the paper to his forehead.

"What's the verdict...?" Nemo asked, seating herself in a nearby chair. Throwing back his covers, Hatter swung his feet over the side of the bed and leaned on his knees. He rubbed his temples, his eyes shut tight.

"I guess I'd better take a bath. The Queen'd throw a fit if I showed up smelling like I do..." he muttered.

'I'll say...' Nemo thought to herself. Hatter smelled terrible. He didn't say anything else, and headed for the wash room. Sitting on the edge of the white tub, he began to fill it with steaming water. He traced his fingers through the liquid, making lazy circles until it was full. Shedding his clothes which landed in a heap on the floor, he stepped in, and proceeded to angrily scrub at his skin.

The last person he wanted to see what the Queen. It wasn't that she was spoiled, it was that she always got what she wanted. He shuddered, and began scrubbing his scalp, washing the grease from his red hair. His mind wandered back to his dream moments ago. It had felt so real, having Alice so close to him. So real he could feel her weight pressing on his chest, could smell her hair. Things came crashing back to him, then. Things he hadn't thought about in years. The time they had first met. He shook his head. He didn't want to think of that right now. The more the thought about her, the more he wanted her, but he couldn't bring himself to go see her. Rinsing his hair, he emptied the tub and quickly dressed himself. Back into his clothes from the day before. They didn't smell too bad, and at least his breath no longer smelled like alcohol.

"Shall I go with you...?" Nemo asked from her kitchen as Hatter re-entered the main room. He shook his head, though she couldn't see him.

"I think you should just wait here... Why don't you have March come over... I'm sure he misses you..." he teased, grinning. He couldn't see the Cat, but he knew she was blushing.

Nothing more was said as Hatter pulled his boots on and headed out the door. The walk to the castle was long and drawn out. Every step seemed like a step in the wrong direction. His legs felt like noodles, and his feet felt like bricks. But soon, that wretched place loomed in front of him, the path to the front gate stretching on forever. He took a deep breath, and followed it to the castle.

"My dear Hatter!" that voice. Cain. An arm found it's way around his shoulders. He looked to his side to see the pale, white-haired man next to him. "So glad you could make it!" he exclaimed, leading him to the Queen. "I dropped that message off a few hours ago. I didn't think you'd be here so soon. Nemo said you were out cold. Are you okay?"

Hatter simply nodded as he was escorted to the Queen's throne. Once in front of it, Cain gave him a light thump on the shoulder and left him once more. The chamber was dimly lit, all the windows covered by red silk. Up a few steps in front of him, sat the Queen in her gold throne. Her legs were crossed, the red satin of her dress rippled over them, dangerously high. Her legs were white, like snow, and longer than anything Hatter had ever seen. On her feet she wore red crystal shoes, one hung lazily off her toe, flipping as she kicked her foot gently.

She stood when she realized he was there, the red satin enveloping her legs. The Hatter held a sigh of relief. She slowly descended the stairs, swinging her hips, obviously on purpose. Her dress was low cut, insanely low cut. So low, in fact, that it dipped down past her belly button in a sharp V. Her ebony hair was piled loosley on top of her head, topped off with a silver crown.

Crimson eyes bore into him.

"Dear, dear, Hatter..." she cooed, stepping up in front of him. He was a good foot taller than she was. He had always been tall and skinny. She looked up at him through thick lashes, licking her lips. "I didn't think you'd come..." she purred, placing her hands on his chest.

'I didn't want to...' he thought to himself, but said nothing to the Queen.

"What? No hello? No greeting for your Queen?" she whined, pouting up at him. He had to tear his eyes away from hers. Evil. Pure evil.

"I came at request, not to visit." he muttered. The Queen sighed

"Oh, Noah..." she began. His eyes narrowed. That name. How did she know? Her voice. It was her in his dream earlier.

_"Why not me, dear Hatter?"_

He turned back to her, eyes narrowed in fury. She simply cracked a seductive grin, trailing a hand down his shoulder.

"Forget that silly girl. Be mine. You will be mine." she hissed into his ear, pulling him by the collar so that they were equal in height. He said nothing, his hands clenching in irritation. He bit his tongue to keep from insulting her.

'You foul, greasy serpent...' It would have been so good to say.

"Why not me, dear Hatter?"

'Stop saying that...'

"That girl will never love you like I do. You could be so much happier with me." she whispered, bringing his hand to her mouth. She gently nipped the tip of his middle finger. His face grew red.

'Don't give in...'

Harder, she bit him this time, earning herself a choked moan. He pulled his hand away and turned to leave, furious. She wouldn't have it. Grabbing him by his arm, she swung him around to face her, then grabbed his hair, causing his hat to fall to the marble floor. Forcing him into a kiss, she dragged her leg up his own, pressing against him. He fought for a moment, before his eyes slowly shut, and he felt himself falling.

She had him. She grinned to herself, biting his lip. Her pride swelled when she felt his hands reluctantly travel up her sides, resting on her hips.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting..." Cain mused, poking his head into the chamber. He snickered as the Queen pushed herself of the Hatter in rage. He was quickly gone, though, obviously aware that it was best to run. The Queen turned back to the Hatter, a sly smirk gracing her features. The Hatter wasn't looking at her, though. He wasn't looking at anything. He wasn't even there. Only a few tendrils of smoke remained where he had stood a moment ago.

The Queen cursed loudly, storming out of the chamber and out into the garden.


	3. Come Back To Me

"Dammit! Dammitdammitdammit!" the Hatter yelled. He reached up, grabbing handfuls of his hair and yanking furiously. It was then that he noticed his hat was missing. It was still sitting on the floor in the throne room.

"DAMMIT!" he screamed. Slumping down in the dirt, he slapped himself. "Idiot! Why did you go?!" No amount of beating was ever going to make him forgive himself for that. He knew what the Queen had wanted from the very beginning. And the Queen _always_ got what she wanted. Ever since they had met the first time, she had made it clear that she wanted him, and he wanted nothing to do with her. It had gotten even worse when Alice had come the first time. And only got _worse_ the second.

And the name? How had she known that name? It shouldn't have been any surprise. The Queen always got her way. If she really wanted to know his name, she would have figured it out. He shivered, thinking about what she must have done to get it. And no until then had he even remembered it. He felt so ashamed of himself. His mind wandered back to the day Alice had given it to him.

"_It comes from someone very dear to me. Never forget it_."

He yanked at his hair once more, leaning forward into the dirt. He let himself forget the greatest gift anyone had given him. He almost cried. Almost.

"I'm assuming it didn't go well...?"

The Hatter looked up above him to see Nemo sitting in a tree. Her eyes were drooping with pity, as were her ears. He stared at her, his mouth hanging open as if to speak, but nothing came out. Only a pathetic gurgle, which quickly turned into a scream. Nemo was quickly at his side, a small hand on his back.

"I think you need to see someone..." she ordered. The Hatter didn't say anything, but allowed the small girl to pull him up and lead him home.

"She doesn't want to see me..." he argued as he was pulled into the small house.

"Shut up! Just open the damn gate." Nemo hissed. The Hatter did as he was told. He didn't feel like getting tossed around like a rag doll today. Flicking a small silver lighter, he started a fire in the fireplace. Once it was burning, he gave Nemo a nod and stepped through, disappearing into the flames.

Once on the other side, it took his eyes a moment to adjust. Everything was dark. And quiet. He was in a small room. Plain, but liveable. A bed in the center, a chair, a desk. There was someone in the bed. He could hear them breathing. Alice. His heart jumped into his throat.

'She doesn't want to see me...' he muttered in his mind. He forced himself around the foot of the bed, and to the side which the girl had rolled to. All he could do was stare at her. Her blonde hair was spread out around her, curling around her face. She was so beautiful. It was all he could think about. Slowly, he reached for her, making to push some of her hair away from her face, but stopped. A noise startled him.

"Are you asleep?" came an old woman's voice. No answer. She poked her head in to inspect the room. She saw the sleeping figure of Alice in the bed, and shrugged, closing the door behind her. The noise woke Alice. Her eyes fluttered open. Her dream had been interrupted.

"Noah?"

He froze in his portal, and turned slowly to look back into the room. She wasn't looking at him. She didn't even know he was there. He took one last longing glance, before stepping back through the portal.

"Come back to me..." Alice whimpered, reaching for her night stand. Laying there was a tiny purple flower, starting to wilt. She pulled it under the covers with her, clutching it to her chest as she dozed off again.


End file.
